i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
worst night to have a conscience
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
