so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
