She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
