Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
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I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
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I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize