Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I believe in your delicious
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
