My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate all girls vehemently.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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