He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize