the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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