I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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