I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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