Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my being single is dangerous.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
