So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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