fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
