plz talk dirty to me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
