dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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