we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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