He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
