my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
