i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
