You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
