found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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