Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
