You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
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