Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
