Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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