chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
