worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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