I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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