Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I am available for nakedness
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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