Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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