apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
