I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Blood and glitter go together right?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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