Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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