If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
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And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize