I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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