He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
