I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
