I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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