Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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