I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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