The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
