Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
