Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
