I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
