Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
