There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
