In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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