I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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