your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
