we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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