We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
