dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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