The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
