i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
