dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
