shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
