lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
