Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
