Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
