Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
