singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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