I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize