saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
