if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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