Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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