He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
