So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
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He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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