Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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