Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
