any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
