he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize