Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
